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Let's talk for a moment about all the people in the world for whom it is impossible to buy holiday presents. Maybe they're recently-politicized college students who respond to questions like "What do you want for Hannukah?" with answers like "Property is theft!" Maybe they're people-pleasers who are so determined not to make trouble that they've managed to keep their material desires more secret than the nation's nuclear launch codes. Or maybe they're just really, really high-maintenance, and you can't afford the black Maybach that's the only thing they want this year.

Below is a map for them—a list of stores that sell objects random enough, yet likeable enough, to satisfy even the most unpredictable of tastes. Of course, if you know for a fact that your friend/loved one actually, genuinely objects to holiday consumerism, don't bother with anything below. Just donate in their name to a good cause. We like Donor's Choose, which lets you pick where your money goes; surely no one can object to that.