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It's been nearly a year since we last talked (or, frankly, thought) about "face fitness," which is definitely a real thing and not a pitch for a Portlandia sketch. But a New York Times article this morning acts as a reminder that face fitness doesn't just merely exist—for some, it's mandatory.
What was once called Skin Gym (not to be confused with Skin Laundry or "skin whispering", two totally different concepts; don't worry about it) is now Face Love Fitness, a spa that promises to exercise the muscles in your face just like your gym membership works the rest of them. Included in the service menu: forehead lifts, chin presses, and facial massages, often using small tools that the paper says have "the daunting look of torture devices in a horror movie."
This all may sound terrifying, but co-owner and aesthetician Rachel Lang swears by it—as do a sizable segment of people overseas. "We buy everything from Asia," she told the Times. "Come see us once a week and in between do exercises at home," she added, promising better circulation to soften wrinkles, even skin tone and add a refreshing glow. Results to come when we're all 70, and only the people who've been doing rigorous face exercises have the skin of a twenty-something.