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End of an Era: Abercrombie's Chiseled Greeters Will No Longer Go Shirtless

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We regret to inform you, appreciator of chiseled abs attached to nice faces, that early aughts institution Abercrombie & Fitch will no longer assemble a parade of shirtless models to signify the start of summer. In other words, your teenage-hood is dead.

News came via a press release from the brand this morning, which contains a host of other companywide changes that will make you feel very, very old, including:

- "Improved sensory experience: adjust scent, lighting, music and trees to ensure a more pleasurable shopping experience."

-  "Store associates will not be hired based on body type or physical attractiveness."

- "By the end of July, there will no longer be sexualized marketing used in marketing materials including, in-store photos, gift cards, and shopping bags." (Disclaimer: There will still be shirtless models on the bottles of Fierce cologne, which—thank god—is not going anywhere.)

All of these changes are to make way for a new, "consumer-centric" Abercrombie, which according to the brand's newest marketing images, includes models, sure, but sadly, zero abs:

May the hot, bitchy Abercrombie store clerks of the early aughts officially rest in peace. You will be missed.