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Unlike dogs, who respond positively to thirst (your pure joy at seeing them only makes them want to cover you in more slobbery kisses), cats are like, "I'm busy staring at this patch of light on the wall. Just be cool." Which makes hanging out with ten or so of NYC cat café Meow Parlour's adorable, fuzzy kitties—who may or may not acknowledge your existence—an experience full of emotional highs and lows.
Come, ride this roller coaster with me in real time. But if I start going on about taking one home, try to talk me down, okay?
2:03 - I'm here! Just in time for kitty nap hour. (JK, every hour is kitty nap hour.)
2:06 - I am the only person who brought a laptop. And the only person who is here alone. Whatever, going with it.
2:08 - Look at that nose! Great nose. Unfortunately, Roger is more interested in biting his tail than in hanging out with me.
2:15 - Special delivery! In accordance with New York City health codes, Meow Parlour doesn't prepare any food in the cat area. Instead, macarons, drinks, and cat-shaped cookies are ferried in from their cafe around the corner after you place an order in the kitty room. I chose one cornmeal-rosemary-apricot and one mint chocolate cookie.
2:27 - TOWER OF NAPS
2:40 - Who to pet first? All of them? Let's try all of them.
2:41 - Cats scattered. Feeling defeated.
2:43 - Consoling myself with cookies, which are really good btw.
2:44 - Have spotted a tubby gentleman named PUDDING. New lifegoal is to snuggle him.
2:46 - FIRST HISS OF THE DAY. From Roger, who had no trouble asserting himself when some fellow guests interrupted his nap. I feel u, Roger.
2:53 - Pudding runs this place, and he knows it. Tried to lure him over with a mouse toy and he was like, "nah."
3:07 - Pudding has been cornered! Just waiting until he's done with this grooming sesh. Look, I'm not proud of myself.
3:17 - Pudding has settled in for a long cuddle. I can take a hint.
3:18 - Lots of couples have arrived! This seems to be a really popular date spot? Still hanging here by myself, creeping on cats.
3:39 - ALL OF THE CATS ARE ASLEEP! Maybe if I hover over one, staring at it intently, it will wake up?
3:51 - Wake up wake up wake up.
4:03 - Lots of PDA in the cat cafe! Human on human, cat on cat, human on cat.
4:06 - THIS GUY RIGHT HERE just snatched a cat toy from my hand and ran under a table.
4:16 - PUDDING UPDATE: He is currently one half of a yin and yang formation.
4:24 - This beauty's name is Fang and she's ten—the oldest kitty at Meow Parlour, by far. She loves warm laptops and being brushed.
4:36 - Ringo here has one white whisker. It makes him look very distinguished.
4:38 - Debating ordering more cookies. Wait, I somehow missed the fact that the macarons are also cat-shaped? This changes everything.
4:45 - THIS PASSERBY SEEMS V V INTERESTED
5:00 - PRO TIP: Meow Parlour time slots may be booked through the end of March, but they've accepted a few walk-ins in the three (!!!) hours I've been here, due to last-minute cancellations. So, try your luck on a weekday afternoon if you don't want to wait two months for some quality cat time.
5:21 - There's a book of adoptable cats on hand. This one's name is HARRY STYLES and he is perfect.
5:38 - This guy has been asleep in his cat pod the entire time. Best lil napper ever.
5:43 - So, I just learned that Pudding's favorite thing is grooming the other cats. Ugh. Pudding. That is the cutest hobby ever.
5:46 - PUDDING
6:00 - After four hours, it's time to pack up. Goodnight, wonderful fluffballs!