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NYC Grocery Stores Currently 'Lord Of The Flies'-Style Hellscapes

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As New Yorkers can attest, the sole benefit of snowpocalyptic, probably-maybe-record-breaking blizzards is witnessing the absolute meltdown of all of the city's agreed-upon behavior—supermarkets are transformed into nightmarish war zones, replete with macabre scenes of endless lines and passive-aggressive side-eye. This, naturally, is best enjoyed from the comfort of your computer screens.

Below, we've rounded up the best of these microcosms that make up #Juno, the winter storm that will keep most of us quarantined until Wednesday, including someone calling someone else a "blonde witch," terrible kale jokes at Whole Foods Gowanus, and the heroes who used the snowstorm as an opportunity to stock up on Cornish game hens.

Trader Joe's, which is already mostly just one giant line, has managed to somehow be even more hellish:

Line at trader joes... #noendinsight

A photo posted by Edward (@edward_viii_) on


Here is a video of that line:

The panic wasn't even just limited to this morning:

It is basically American Horror Story multiplied by The Hunger Games:

Oh, New York. This is the line just to get in to Trader Joe's. #juno #hungergames #nyc

A photo posted by Kendra Koch (@kendrak33) on


THERE AREN'T EVEN ANY ONIONS:

Nothing's left... #onions #groceries #nyc

A photo posted by Sarah S. Yee (@sarahsyee) on


Seriously? #traderjoes

A photo posted by @virginiahwong on


The scene at Fairway Market is equally dismal: