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Thanks to Maille, a new boutique on the Upper West Side that sells literally nothing other than mustard, our city now has two stores dedicated solely to artisanal condiments. The other (in Brooklyn, naturally) is Prospect Heights' Empire Mayonnaise, and though they are in two different boroughs, they share the same pursuit: To coat the naked sandwiches of New York City in $9 worth of fancified goo.
Maille, whose products were previously only available in Europe, will be the first Dijon mustard boutique in America, according to the company (no word on whether there's a boutique devoted to regular mustard in like, Arizona or something, but for now we'll assume that yes, there definitely is).
And if you thought America's first-ever Dijon mustard store wasn't going to be the fanciest store you've ever seen in your entire life, you would be horribly mistaken. Inside, there's a custom-designed sample bar, an on-hand mustard sommelier whose name is, appropriately, Pierette Huttner, and all kinds of luxurious flavors you've probably never heard of like chablis and sauternes.
Oh, plus there's a mustard tap—and not the kind you use at Yankee Stadium to douse your Nathan's Famous in French's and then inevitably squirt all over your pants. This one uses an "authentic French ceramic pump" to (delicately) squeeze mustard into "reusable stoneware jars." Your move, ketchup.