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Marcella Caprario, the woman accused of slapping another woman in the face at the UWS Trader Joe's last winter over frozen pad Thai, was acquitted of all charges by a judge in Manhattan Criminal Court yesterday. And it only took the judge 15 minutes to do so. Her lawyer, Mark Bederow, explains: "The real losers here are the New York City taxpayers. It's a case that never should have been prosecuted." [NY Post, Previously]