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Screenshot of the New Directions' rendition of "Empire State of Mind" via FoxTV
Provided that Coach Sue Sylvester and her maleficent Legion of Doom are foiled in their Glee Club sabotage attempts, McKinley High's New Directions will soon be headed to New York City for the fabled Nationals competition. Let's assume that this is the first jaunt outside of Lima, Ohio for Rachel, Finn, et al. Hopefully between scrambling for last-minute 80s rock anthem choices, dealing with the Finn-Rachel-Quinn love triangle drams, and losing Brittany somewhere on the R train, our Glee Club will have some free time to partake in a bit of retail therapy.
Where will Quinn find another floral frock and girlie cardigan? Will Mr. Schue buy something other than a tweed vest? To answer those questions and more, here is a handy guide to where our New Directions newbies should shop.
1) Rachel—Marc by Marc Jacobs: Kurt once put it best: "Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time." The de facto Glee Club ringleader sure does love her school-girl pleated skirts and non-ironic animal prints, so Marc by Marc Jacobs totally fits the bill. Hey Rachel, a pair of mouse flats are calling your name. [Marc by Marc Jacobs, 403 Bleecker St at 11th St]
2) Finn—Abercrombie & Fitch: When he's not sporting his McKinley High Titans quarterback uniform, Finn is most likely wearing some combo of preppy plaids and tees. While most likely there is an Abercrombie outpost in the Lima mall (really, what mall doesn't have one?), the Fifth Avenue flagship is a tourist mecca in itself. Maybe Finn will be inspired to go shirtless down the halls a second time. [Abercrombie & Fitch, 720 Fifth Ave at 56th St]
3) Quinn—Rebecca Taylor: We're so glad Quinn has escaped from under the thumb of totalitarian Cheerios Coach Sue Sylvester and can let her girlishly lovely style show through. Since she has her pre-baby body back, Quinn will probably want to splurge on a floral frock or two and will head over to the new Rebecca Taylor flagship in the Meatpacking District. It's little pricey compared to Anthropologie—the other store on her itinerary—but we're sure her philandering dad will foot the bill. [Rebecca Taylor, 34 Gansevoort St between Hudson and Greenwich Sts]
4) Puck—Scout Vintage T-shirts: This vintage t-shirt emporium in Nolita combines two of Noah "Puck" Puckerman's favorite things: Retro-rock and tight tees (although honestly we'd like to find ways of keeping Puck out of t-shirts, if you know what we mean). Now, it's been established that the vintage concert tees at Scout are on the pricey side, but we're sure Puck has a slush fund collected from his pool cleaning biz, lunch money larceny, and "special" brownie sales. [Scout Vintage T-shirts, 227 Mulberry St between Prince and Spring Sts]
5) Kurt—Barneys New York: This is kind of a no-brainer as Kurt
is was McKinley High's resident fashionista. Three words: McQueen Armadillo Heels (or an impressively homemade version of them, anyway.) We're thinking that Kurt will be returning to McKinley from Dalton and those individuality-suppressing uniforms just in time to make Nationals. So, when he's in New York, he'll definitely want to update his wardrobe with some cutting-edge designer fashion. Does Altuzarra make menswear yet? [Barneys New York, 660 Madison Ave at 61st St]
6) Brittany—Opening Ceremony: Speaking of style-crushing uniforms—post-Cheerios defection, Brittany S. Pierce has quickly become the Chloë Sevigny of McKinley High. The Sartorialist anointed her as the "Trendiest Teen in America" and she's following in the footsteps of Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port to intern with Teen Vogue. So obvi Britanny would hightail it over to Opening Ceremony. Provided she can figure out how to swipe her Metrocard, of course. [Opening Ceremony, 35 Howard St between Broadway and Crosby St]
7) Santana—Agent Provocateur While her bestie and unrequited love Brittany is the hipster trendsetter, Santana's style tends to veer toward the more, shall we say, mature side of the spectrum. We've already been witness to her penchant for slinky intimate-wear—a little silky cami to make Finn a man while singing to Madonna, a full-on lace body-stocking for her amazing solo during the Lady Gaga "Bad Romance" tribute. Agent Provocateur is the clear choice to pick up a new killer number and find an update to her sexy nurse outfit. [Agent Provocateur, 133 Mercer St at Prince St]
8) Artie—J. Press: Footballer and brainiac Artie manages to combine both Americana and geek-chic with his sweater vest and button-down ensembles. Where better to shop than the OG purveyors of Ivy League prepster-style, J. Press? Just wearing one of their Yale-approved numbers more than guarantees Artie's entrance into one of America's finer institutions of learning. [J. Press, 380 Madison Ave between 46th and 47th Sts]
9) Mercedes—Pat Field: Glee Club's second banana Mercedes is still trying to fully express that diva inside of her. (We suppose having a manager with J. Lo-level requests helps). A quick visit to the original provider of diva-wear should solve that problem. From leopard-print bombers to bold-hued floral frocks to hot-pink glitter platform heels, Mercedes would have a "Field" day in here. Watch out Rachel, there's a new diva in town. [Patricia Field, 302 Bowery between Houston and 1st Sts]
10) Tina—Search & Destroy: McKinley High head goth and erstwhile vampire Tina has probably been itching to visit Search & Destroy on St. Marks for years. Here, she can pick up a fresh pair of studded, steel-toe moto boots and borderline offensive t-shirts that will probably result in a visit to Principal Figgins' office. After the stop, Tina and boyfriend Mike Chang can head over to St. Alps Tea House on 3rd Avenue for some Taiwanese bubble tea, because, you know, they like to do "Asian" things. [Search & Destroy, 25 St. Marks near 3rd Ave]
11) Mike—Halcyon: Tina will have to make some time to accompany her B-boy-dancing, music-loving boyfriend Mike over to Halcyon record shop in Dumbo. Here, Mike can stock up on hard-to-find records to help him perfect his fancy footwork and devise complicated choreography on the fly. [Halcyon, 57 Pearl St near Plymouth St]
12) Sam—Ricky's: This is the destination for Sam to purchase a plethora of balms for his lady lips and peruse copious brands of hair products to optimize his Bieber 'do. If he has any questions (which he probably will), he can always ask any one of the surprisingly knowledgeable, if sometimes oddly dressed, staffers. [Ricky's, multiple locations]
13) Mr. Schuester—Rag & Bone: We know well-meaning Mr. Schue needs to maintain an air of teacher-like authority and dignity, despite his penchant for rapping and making erroneous drunk dials which are then blasted on the school intercom. But that shouldn't mean that he's stuck wearing tweedy vests and skinny ties all the time. We'd like to see him take his Americana up a notch with a visit to Rag & Bone. It might be tough on a teacher's salary, especially with his alimony to "Honey Badger," but maybe he'll be in town during one of their sample sales. [Rag & Bone, 100 Christopher St. between Bedford and Bleecker Sts]
14) Sue Sylvester—Adidas: Duh. [Adidas Originals Store, 136 Wooster at Prince St]