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Come with us as we complete our exhausting Fashion's Night Out evening with Tim Morehouse, sabre fencer, Olympic silver medalist (Beijing 2008) turned Wilhelmina model, and Bergdorf Goodman featured guest. If you thought FNO was crazy for civilians, wait till you see what it was like to actually appear as one of the attractions. Part one of our adventure begins here; buckle up for part two.
7:20: With about 40 minutes before Tim's appearance, the athlete and his publicist Jody decide to take a load off before things start getting really intense. Meanwhile, we set out to see what else is happening at the men's store—and load up on more free booze.
7:25: Thom Browne is in one corner signing $210 white oxfords. No thanks.
7:27: Third Lady Gaga song of the night.
7:35: We run into the always impeccably-dressed Nick Wooster, men's fashion director of Bergdorf's. (Last time we saw him, we were wearing the same yellow wingtips.) Indulging us—he was obviously busy overseeing pretty much everything that was happening—he stopped to chat and pose for some pictures with Tim (after we ran to grab him).
7:37: Three more friends—one is a fencing connection.
7:47: Bergdorf is Gaga for Gaga: Fourth song.
7:50: As Thom Browne's ridiculous aliens tromp by, Tim meets another handful of fencing friends. We're beginning to think Tim did some heavy inviting and promoting. Nobody just runs into this many people! But, hey—big night, good for him.
7:54: The floor is starting to get really packed and really loud; there are empty beer bottles and photographers everywhere. Looking around, Tim says, "This whole thing is crazy."
8:00: Olympians and designers face off in various parlor games in ten minutes, or so says the deejay. Tim is sticking to ping pong rather than air hockey or Foosball.
8:02: More friends. Tim knows everyone. In the meantime, beer us.
8:04: Tim is facing off with Thom Browne! The game begins.
8:08: Working up a sweat: Tim's jacket comes off and ends up pushed up under the ping pong table. The crowd cheers—relax, people, there are other layers under the blazer!
8:09: One of six people just asked us who the guy in the tiny suit is. "Thom Browne." "Huh, who?" We're so distracted by questions we can't keep score. Is someone keeping score?
8:13: First game over and whoever was keeping score wasn't doing such a great job. They're both claiming they won.
8:15: Over the course of the next 13 minutes, Tim poses for photographs with various other Olympic athletes including Sarah Hughes and Joey Cheek, old friends from his Teach for America days, a slew of friends as well as some fans and fencing acquaintances.
8:32: Another game, this time with a fan. Things are getting competitive. The deejay: "It's like the wide world of sports in here!"
8:39: Speaking of the deejay—Jonjon Battles—he just seriously blew our minds! Madonna into "Cars That Go Boom" into Stacy Q. We decide to go stroke his ego for a second while we leave the scene to grab another beer and check out Tom Ford, who is appearing upstairs. On one turntable we steal a glance of his names-and-faces cheat sheet. We could really have used one of those.
8:40: The line for the Tom Ford signing is estimated at 300 deep. Security wouldn't let us get close enough to even steal a peek, let alone a picture.
8:46: Back downstairs we find Tim going up against the mayor's daughter, Georgina Bloomberg. He's getting really, really into ping pong and games are lasting longer—it seems everyone is hitting their ping pong stride. That said, once you've watched ping pong for about 40 minutes, it's time to move on—oooooo vintage eyewear ?
8:56: Someone who is acting super famous who we don't recognize is loitering. It's Sara Gore from LX TV. Is she appearing? Covering? Trying to score free booze? Who knows. She and Tim are hitting it off, though—they pose for a zillion pictures and play more ping pong.
8:59: FNO fatigue: There is a girl collapsed on the floor in a corner reading a mass market paperback and at least three women have traded their pumps for flips. Jody keeps threatening to do the same.
9:07: The Parlor Olympics are over so Tim and his entourage—which has grown from two to, like, nine—head back to the main store for karaoke.
9:11: The VIP police won't let the whole entourage through the "VIP entrance" so we proceed with Tim and Sara—we lost Jody in the shuffle. The rest of the crew agree to go through the main entrance but we never see them again—the lines and crowds must've been getting to them. And they certainly didn't have to be there. Anyway, we get inside and get into the elevator.
9:13: The cutest woman in the world is in the elevator with us. It's Cynthia Rowley—who is showing in something like 18 hours. She, too, is looking for the karaoke: "They should have me sing last because I'll clear the place out." Sara asks her how she got up to the store—the traffic is outrageous. Her husband picked her up, they just "got on the Vespa." We snap some photos resisting the urge to ask her to take a photo with us.
9:20: Oh, this isn't the way to karaoke—which we discover when we emerge, along with Tim, Sara, Cynthia and her husband, from a door and literally walk into Victoria Beckham who is wearing the biggest sourpuss you've ever seen in your whole entire life. We guess we'd be pissy too if some 20-something hot mess in pigtails and a scuzzy pink terrycloth Abercrombie track suit (this is really what you wear to meet your idol at Bergdorf Goodman?) was begging us for a photo.
9:22: Victoria blows past us, leaving Patrick McMullan in her wake. He fondles the medal and requests photos with everyone (but Cynthia's husband and, well, us). Two seconds later club kid (well, once she was a kid) Susanne Bartsch rolls through is a crazy-ass costume. She hands us a flier for the new event she's involved in—it's called Bloody Mary. Genius! Not genius enough for us to actually go, but genius.
9:30: Jody is still trying to catch up to us but Tim is a man on a mission: He suddenly wants to get to Saks. We never found the karaoke.
9:35: We've been told we walk pretty fast but this is ridiculous.
9:42: Entering Saks we go straight up to 7. Someone who matters must be doing something because there are guys guarding the barricades and keeping the line in check like we're at Fort Knox. We ask Tim who or what is causing such a commotion but either he can't hear us over the screaming or he's too involved in getting to wherever he's going that he can't answer us. When whatever he was doing failed, we sat him down, gave him a Fiji we'd been hording since Lincoln Center, and hit up the restrooms.
9:45: Upon our return, Tim decides he wants to go, too. Rather than sit there we thought we'd do a little shopping when we literally walk right into Viktor or Rolf of Viktor & Rolf while wearing their signature glasses-printed jeans—he was both delighted and delightful. Aside from some gratis wine, this is the best thing that could've happened at this point in the night (even if we missed out on the free glasses-print tote bags, which we're not still totally heartbroken over at all).
9:52: Oh, Jody's back! So is Tim! Who convinces us to bum-rush Fort Knox to get to whatever it is we still don't know is happening. Jody stays back—oh, and her heels are off.
10:04: It's director of menswear Eric Jennings and some other Saks VIPs carousing with Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick (wearing a burgundy and navy candy-striped suit that we're assuming is Spurr and that we'd give a kidney for) and Simon Spurr. They're drinking, playing darts and posing with screaming teenage girls. Many hands are shaken; many pictures are taken.
10:08: Saks guy is wearing the medal!
10:10: Leaving the darts and the mob and heading downstairs, Tim is wavering on his resolve to show up at IMG's/strong> party at Trump SoHo—it's getting late, he's going to the U.S. Open tomorrow. He calls a private conference with Jody leaving us holding up a wall in women's denim.
10:12: Short conference—Jody has friends to meet but we and Tim will hit the party.
10:34: There are no cabs in the entire city, Tim is tired, seems to be avoiding the subway. We chat—he lives in Hell's Kitchen, New York born-and-raised, he's lost and found his camera (again)—and finally decide to call it a night.
11:12: Cold white wine, falafel and sitting! Peace out, Fashion's Night Out. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
· FNO with a VIP: An Olympic Athlete's Fashion Experience [Racked NY]
· Tim Morehouse [Official Site]
· Fencing Masters NYC [Official Site]