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Love it or hate it, you've got to admit that the Barneys Warehouse Sale is the biggest, most high-profile designer discount shopping event of the summer. Below, our intrepid reporter Fawnia Soo Hoo braves the chaos outside the sale to answer all the most crucial questions, from "Will the turnout be bigger than the anemic crowd last winter?" to "Exactly what sort of snacks is D'Agostino giving away?"
7:00am: Hello! I just arrived at the Barneys Warehouse Sale, and so did five other people. Guess 7am is the magic time.
7:03am: One girl behind me already announced that she has to find a restroom. Bad preparation there.
7:07am: The line is steadily growing and is majority male so far. I see every trend possible: Drop crotch jeans, fitted plaid, boatneck shirts with navy and white stripes—and that's just the guys.
7:10am: In case anyone is wondering, bathroom girl had success at the New York Sports Club nearby. Now that I think about it, one of those fancy port-a-potties would be convenient at this sale. Along with a coffee vendor—where's D'Agostino, by the way?
By 7:15am, the line had doubled
7:17am: There's a girl near me who sounds exactly like Angelina ("I'm the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island, baby") from Jersey Shore. It's uncanny.
7:19am: The line is almost at Seventh Avenue now and I'm shocked that it's taken this long to spot the first fedora.
7:24am: Oh man, the Fox 5 news camera crew is here and the girls behind me (Angelina and friends) are freaking out.
7:29am: The two guys in front of me are adorable. They're speculating about this sale, saying the February one was disappointing ("So bad, SO bad") but that last summer's was incredible ("The one before that was AMAZING. I almost cried.")
7:31am: The camera guy shooting preliminary video keeps sneaking up on this part of the line. I'm sure he's trying to film the Trendster Trio in front of me. One of the guys is wearing drop-crotch jeans, one has on a denim button-down and skinny cargos, and the third has crazy orange hair topped off by a bowler cap.
The line circa 7:32am
7:34am: There are a couple novices behind me. Angelina is giving them the lowdown: "They let in 20-30 at a time."
7:35am: The guy in front of me is telling his friend who just arrived that he got here at 6:50 because "some guy online" said to get here early to get the best stuff. Is he talking about Simon Doonan on the Cut? He's still waxing lyrical about the last sale, too. ("I got the most beautiful thing in the world. It was like God came down from heaven to New York City.")
7:41am: It's like MTV all up in this line. If I close my eyes and just listen, I have Angelina from Jersey Shore behind me and Whitney Port in front of me. No wonder the guy behind me is blasting his iPod at high levels.
7:45am: Did you know that 40% of FIT students drop out by the second year? That's what Whitney is saying, anyway.
7:50am: The kids in front of me are fashion students and they're commiserating about school. Whitney: "I want to transfer to Parsons because I'm more into the 'art' aspect of it. I can't stand draping." Male friend (boy Lo?): "Ugh, tailoring. I can't stand it. They're all about that in menswear." (Ya think?) A little later: "I definitely think you need to know how to sew." Ah, the future fashion leaders of America.
7:52am: These kids are funny, though. Now they've moved on to crazy sales and the male Lo goes "My mom almost beat up some guy at the mall one time. It was at Charlotte Russe." What the what?
7:53am: OK, this is getting spooky. A friend just joined and she sounds like Audrina!
7:57am: Now they're trading stories about puking after clubbing. In detail. Please let me in, Barneys! This is just not appropriate early-morning talk.
8:00am: Saint Simon (Doonan) has clearly heard my pleas—we're moving!
8:01am: And we're in! First stop shoes. Will be back soon with a full report. In the meantime, here's a teaser photo.