Let's Either Buy iPhones or Make Fun of Everyone Buying Them!

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Welcome to Drunk Shopping, our feature celebrating the time-honored tradition of getting totally wasted while the sun's still shining before buying a bunch of debatably useful stuff that the sober you would be too timid or too restrained to take home. Each Friday we'll cobble together a new itinerary starting you off with a boozy Saturday or Sunday brunch before meandering through a few neighboring retailers and happy hours notable for seasonal specials, limited time availability, fantastic deals, recent openings, or new shipments.

You may not know this—there has been such little fanfare—but Apple released a new gadget yesterday: The iPhone 4. So, let's take the Drunk Shopping Opportunity (Drunk Shopportunity?) to get blasted on margaritas before traipsing off to either get ourselves one of these shiny new iPhones and/or make fun of the tech-geek-nerd-alert-Apple-drones that are so hellbent on getting a new gadget to replace their still-healthy-but-lame-and-tragically-outdated old gadgets that they're willing to wait in miles-long lines in scalding heat just to be told to come back tomorrow. Good times! Brunch is at Maracas Bar and Grill for two reasons: It's centrally located between Apple's Meatpacking District and SoHo stores; and you can get bottomless margaritas, Bloody Marys, or mimosas with your giant steaming breakfast burrito for $15. You'll appreciate the savings once all those data charges start rolling in?

Now, you have two Apple Store options—head southeast to SoHo or head Northwest to MePa. So what if it's a little hypocritical to laugh, point fingers, and proclaim that buying tons of clothes and day-drinking is on a much higher plane than geeking out in a giant line for a new phone—you're probably going to do it anyway.

SoHo bound? Might as well gawk at the semi-nude, pseudo-surfers standing guard at Hollister (hold your nose, though—that cologne can haunt an innocent person for weeks); visit Kaori's Closet Tokyo for hard to fine Japanese lingerie on sale; peruse the Velvet for Uniqlo collaboration; and pop in to Valeria Smith's new home on Mercer Street.

Feeling MePa? Seasonal markdowns are happening at Stella McCartney and Moschino (plus, pre-fall is trickling in so go ahead and fondle); and Rag & Bone—a brand that, like Apple, inspires (sometimes inexplicable) rampant, psychotic devotion—is having a big, monster sample sale.

Then head back to the West Village—Hudson Street's RF Lounge has a two-for-one weekend happy hour happening. Two tall, frosty cocktails and a big basket of snack mix for under $10? Who cares if it's before dinner, the sun is shining, you have a hangover and a sunburn, and the speakers are spewing vocal house?

Enjoy! And please do share your Drunk Shopping tips, tales, and war stories in the comments!

· iPhrenzy [Racked NY]
· Hotter Days Means Fewer Clothes on Hollister's Hunks [Racked NY]
· Few Surprises (or Shoppers) at the Velvet for Uniqlo Launch [Racked NY]
· Dealfeed: Kaori's Closet Tokyo [Racked NY]
· Argentinian Bag Merchant Moves Into Mercer Street Space [Racked NY]
· Dealfeed: Stella McCartney [Racked NY]
· Dealfeed: Rag & Bone [Racked NY]
· Drunk Shopping [Racked NY]