clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Episode 9: Launch My Line Ending Leaves Us Relieved, Yet Enraged

New, 6 comments

Racked is no longer publishing. Thank you to everyone who read our work over the years. The archives will remain available here; for new stories, head over to Vox.com, where our staff is covering consumer culture for The Goods by Vox. You can also see what we’re up to by signing up here.

Bravo: We are in a fight. First, you break the Launch My Line finale up over two weeks. Then you slide the second part of it up an hour so we totally missed the damn thing and had to buy it on iTunes this morning just so we could write this post—someone had best send us a check for $1.99. On top of those betrayals, Kathy won the competition. Really?

Now, Kathy seems like a real doll, a lovable stoner, a total optimist. But you praised Eric to the highest heavens week after week; likewise, you were constantly congratulating Merle on her collection's convertibility. And her collection was actually wearable, and salable, and classy, and interesting. Not to mention the obvious fact that the bulk of Merle's designs—separates and day dresses—were unfussy enough to maybe actually sell through a discount website and questionably successful TV reality show.

We're disappointed. We're also disappointed that Fergie exists and she showed up on last night's episode after "having lunch" with the twins. She ambled around in some stupid flapper dress and basically just said everything by everyone was perfect. In other celebrity appearances, Frédéric Fekkai himself oversaw hair and make-up and Jaime Pressly was the biggest name at the final runway show. The camera kept panning to her—and neither she nor the viewing audience were impressed.

Here's the stupid top ten moments from part 2 of the (probably series) finale:

10.) Emil says "fabulous" like Martin Short's Franck from Father of the Bride. His assistant, Howard Weinstein, was Asian. That movie kind of ruled.

9.) Gallina wore white, terrycloth old lady slippers in the work room and chanted, "I need a big shot of vodka." Preach.

8.) What was with these Los Angeles models? They couldn't walk, they couldn't use zippers, their tan lines were nuts and that one girl with the poof had roots like whoa. We complain about the winter weather here in New York but our models look kind of like models, at least during the shows.

7.) The highest drama occurrence in the show: Jim was almost a no-show. He was hours late. Many, many shots of the empty entry to the studio and Jim's unfinished dress ensued until he finally waltzed in claiming "car trouble" and it never came up again. Oh, and that team won. Scintillating TV.

6.) "Can it be shorter, and tighter?" Give it a rest already, Eric.

5.) If anyone knows what Kathy meant when she said, "We're not gypsy rose, we're Native Rose, huge difference," could you let us know? We also could use some clarification on her declaration that "Native Rose is a colorful expression of the global soul."

4.) Likewise Eric's pre-show statement: "It's for that 18-to-ageless female and sexy is how sexy feels." What?

3.) All the booted moguls came back for the show. Vanessa was hilarious: "This is like the first time I'm actually sitting down in this room. I feel like I should be standing over there being told how bad I was!" Patrick's incredulous scowl in response was even better.

2.) And Kevin is still a crackpot: "This is what it's all about! You know, if you ain't got no popcorn you missing a treat, here!" Uh huh.

1.) TGIO: Thank God It's Over.

· All Launch My Line Coverage [Racked]
· Launch My Line [Official Site]