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Maybe you caught this on Fashionista or Jezebel, but we had to weigh in on IvyGate's multi-part publication of fashion guidelines for new rushees at Cornell's Pi Phi sorority. Now, we don't know much about the whole college Greek life thing for a variety of reasons (not the least of which are our innate aversions to Bebe glitter tops and the Dave Matthews Band) but for some reason this four volume litany of dressing dos-and-don'ts isn't totally surprising. It's also pretty hilarious. Booties are not for everyone; denim should be dark; no "gross plastic shizzz" on wrists or around necks. Our favorite bits, on digital and glowing watches: "I will have the time and will keep you informed so unless your watch is a piece of jewelry you don't need it." And: "No one looks good in satin dresses unless its from Betsey Johnson or Dolce and Gabbana, you weigh less than 130 pounds, have 3 pairs of spanks on and it's New Years Eve." Amazing. At least they're anti-Uggs. [IvyGate; Fashionista; Jezebel]