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The disaster continued last night as Bravo aired the sixth episode of Launch My Line and the last standing crazytown contestant, Patrick, got the boot—seriously, were the producers barred from influencing the judges for the sake of sensationalism and ratings? We are left with one dry wit and no loose cannons. It's going to be a long remaining three weeks.
Last night's challenge brought the moguls—wielding three yards of fabric—to the Citizens of Humanity denim labs where each was given a variety of tools to deconstruct their selected fabrics before rejoining their experts and creating a look inspired by one of their rivals.
Merle deservedly won last night's challenge with a convertible cocktail dress paired with a printed kimono wrap jacket inspired by Louanna. Speaking of Louanna—her totally average jeans and even more average club top (as inspired by Kathy) nearly won her a trip home; but judges offed Patrick instead. An homage to Eric and his club clientele, Patrick's slut red chiffon party dress was accented by burn holes, black lace and tulle. Judges deemed it too slutty, too hard to sell, too high design. We kind of liked it, but more importantly—with Patrick gone who are we tuning in for?
Either way, the top (or bottom) ten moments of Launch My Line episode 6:
10.) Spacecase Kathy and stoic Emil—normally so compatible—totally had a huge fight after meeting with the twins because of some scrap of turquoise fabric. They both cried. Then they hugged. Even the editors could only squeeze about 40 seconds out of the whole scenario. There then was the height of drama for the entire episode.
9.) That dramatic twosome picked Merle as their inspiration. Merle’s a writer so naturally they decided to symbolize that by adding a huge feather quill to the look. Now, we don’t know about Merle but we definitely blog with a quill.
8.) Merle liked their homage to her—except for the ass-grazing rear. “You can’t go to dinner in that!”
7.) Dan and Dean are seriously useless as mentors. They offer no criticism whatsoever—they ask a pointed question, effeminately glower, communicate with each other in a secret twin/eye language and move on. Even in matching outfits this is starting to get old.
6.) Patrick used the word dandy and several variations on the word dandy at least four times. One of which: “dandy is as dandy does.”
5.) Thai joined the track team in high school just for the uniform. Shocked, we totally thought he was a triathlete.
4.) Jim decided to make a pair of jeans. He’s never made a pair before—why not now in a timed, televised competition? Great idea! Yet Louanna and her hideous attitude remain with us.
3.) After judges announced that Patrick would need to pack up and ship off Roberto made a semi-coherent speech declaring Patrick a genius who would one day—maybe with Roberto’s help—helm a fashion line. We were reminded of Tim Meadows telling Lindsay Lohan that no speech was required in Mean Girls. It looked like the judges were reminded of the same scene.
2.) After being dismissed Roberto declared he was heading off to Venus. We don’t doubt it.
1.) And, Roberto’s red papal cloak and walking stick—dude doesn’t even have to be talking to crack us up. Roberto, we are ashamed to admit it but we will miss you.