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"Gwyneth slipped into her polar bear fur lined slippers and headed to the 4,000 square foot master bathroom to prepare her morning toilette. She rinsed her mouth with calf's milk and brushed her teeth with fresh mint leaves. She soaked for an hour and a half in the Olympic size Jacuzzi before calling out for the breakfast servant to bring her her egg white omelet with truffle shavings and gold leaf. What many people didn't realize was that eating gold was actually good for you. Although there were no particular nutritional benefits, it just made you feel good to be able to eat gold. She ate gold at every meal. That would be one of her next newsletters. 'Everyone Should Just Eat Gold.'" Seriously, just read the whole thing. [Videogum]