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[The bustling Ikea cafeteria at 3:30 Saturday afternoon via McBrooklyn]
RED HOOK—You know what turns out to be recession-proof, at least so far? Ikea. Ikea will take the recession, stuff it full of meatballs, sell it a bookcase that's impossible to assemble, and then act all innocent when the bookcase collapses. Ikea will cut the recession's ferry access. Ikea will convince the recession to buy a coffee table it doesn't need, force the recession to stay home from work to wait for the coffee table to be delivered, and then never show up. Ikea will make the recession cry. [McBrooklyn]
MIDTOWN—Go to 712 Fifth Avenue, home of Henri Bendel. Take the elevator to the third floor. Proceed directly to the Chocolate Bar. Look to the left, look to the right, then, when you know it's safe, utter a single word: "Bailout." Congratulations: You just earned yourself a free brownie. [New Yorkology]