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Episode 2 of Bravo's new Project Runway wannabe Launch My Line aired last night and we were glued to the TV recording every ludicrous moment. Teams were introduced to the concept of trend forecasters (hey, guess what, natural colors are about to be the hot new thing) before being dropped off at the left coast capital of stoners, muscle-heads, skaters and rampant homelessness—Venice Beach. There each mogul sought out inspiration in creating the second look for their collections: a beachy day outfit with either a butterfly or jellyfish silhouette.
Upon returning, moguls were greeted by their other halves before starting work on their yacht-appropriate looks. Not so shockingly, several teams aren't getting along so well. Patrick and Roberto are cat-fighting; Coco can't handle Marilyn; and fashion expert Julie is losing patience with David's lack of insight. Only Eric and designer Galina, as well as Kathy and designer Emil, are really hitting it off (and—let's be honest—this was because the design experts were calling the shots on both teams).
David—he just can't not be an architect—got the boot for creating what he dubbed both "a formal bathing suit that you don't swim in" and "a costume" out of structured black wool (a piece we kind of liked despite its total disregard for practicality). Patrick and Roberto probably should've won with a wearably flouncy, jewel-toned day dress complete with multi-colored cummerbund. However, class took a backseat to trash last night and Eric and Galina, with their nightmare of sheer blue animal prints, sparkly belts, and crystallized butterflies (picture a blonde, nearly-geriatric Russian woman on holiday in Miami), came out on top. Jarring, yes, but Dan and Dean Caten design DSquared2, not Dior?
Anyway, without further delay, here are the top ten moments of Launch My Line episode 2:
10.) Louanna basically tells her model to shut up after said model gets excited about Louanna's whorish design. She's our early favorite for Most Hated.
9.) Hey, twins, we know English is your second language because you're Italian—oh wait, just kidding—but the words coherence and cohesive are not interchangeable. We're being a bit harsh, but come on! Where are the matching outfits? We realize you're not producing a glut of pants with a 26 inch waist, but try a little harder.
8.) Kevin is nuts. What started out as his explaining to the twins that men like to take some clothing off a woman ended with a nonsensical rant involving London and France as well as a shouted "go girl" and a series of high fives.
7.) He's crazy—but it was adorable when what inspired him in Venice Beach was a limping pigeon—that he proceeded to follow about. And his drawing of feathers can not be described in mere words, but know that it was hysterical.
6.) Earth mother Kathy just had to get her hair braided by some street woman from Ghana on the boardwalk. And later, her partner Emil declared that "she's very connected to earth." We're not so sure?
5.) Vanessa winds up in the bottom two again, this time with some crazy Charlie's Angels outfit encrusted in bits of ugly crap symbolizing the mosaic tile of some rotting, moldy fountain. Can we reflect a moment on how nuts Vanessa is? First, her hair. Second, that nose (Is it melting away from years of cocaine abuse?) Third, earrings that could double as hula hoops. Fourth, those fluffy Nanook of the North boots—hi, you're in Los Angeles.
4.) Marilyn is just the best. Her drawing of a dress looks like a ham. And, the way she says caftan is genius. And, she refers to a woman's curves as "a little extra strawberry shortcake." Coco, however, needs an espresso (why is she always so tired?) and needs to drop the attitude—though it was kind of hilarious when she explained to Marilyn the difference between a sleeve and a neckline. All that said, their look was more Golden Girls boudoir in satin than chic yacht party.
3.) Roberto, who apparently "does couture," sucks (see his broken record chanting that he met Valentino at his godparent's summer house as Merle hilariously rolled her eyes and declared him "so boring"); but we do kind of love that he actually seems to know what's happening in fashion. On Louanna's mold-colored winning dress last week: "The piece that won was a Calvin Klein dress" (and, barring the color and the stupid tail, it kind of was). Oh snap! Louanna, replied: "Well, that's what I'm doing, I don't care about Calvin Klein." Good one.
2.) Patrick admitted his tendency towards velvet and satin—there's a shocker—as he selected a bright orange satin. This, for day, at the beach. And on trend forecasting: "I've never gone out hunting for trends, because usually I'm setting the trends." Now, with all due respect, what trend is he setting, exactly? Are men across the country now using rum raisin Wet 'N Wild lip color to draw on their eyebrows?
1.) Patrick and Roberto are killing it with top moments! Hey, what about when Roberto lost it because Patrick used "my" instead of "our" and ended up tearing down their label's sign and screaming that Patrick was a monster? Patrick's retort was: "I'm not a monster!" Then he scampered off set like a middle schooler whose lunch money had been stolen. This is great television, people.