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Well, it's here—after a name change and a push back—Bravo's newest attempt to create some something that might begin to fill the tremendous fashion void left by Project Runway's move to Lifetime premiers tomorrow night at 11pm. Entitled Launch My Line, the show is hosted by identical twins Dan and Dean Caten—the boys behind DSquared2—and will feature ten successful and highly-regarded professionals with giant fashion aspirations but no real experience. Oh dear, you're thinking, how will they produce anything? Well, each of these industry leaders will be teamed up with ten apparel experts. Together, a complete, cohesive collection will be their goal.
So, who cares, right? The Fashion Show was a disaster (A true frittering away of Isaac Mizrahi's many comic gifts; and who on earth picked Kelly Rowland? Was every other benignly-dressed second fiddle of R&B busy?), and Lifetime's Project Runway was littered with middlingly talented and totally unmemorable designers but not nearly enough Michael Kors to keep us coming back—despite ourselves—for the random Golden Girls references.
Here now, ten reasons to tune in—based exclusively on the preview clips, Bravo's website, and our own general judginess (which rarely fails us):
10.) Just look at the list of "top entertainers" designer Jim has worked with: Ryan Seacrest, Hayden Panettiere, The Pussycat Dolls, Evangeline Lily, and Christina Milian. We only had to Google like half of those people!
9.) Perhaps this is a sign that reality TV is draining the pool of available design talent and that the universe might need a few seasons to catch up; but designers towards the end of Bravo's slide show have no accomplishments listed. That said, they have "garnered notice," and draw "inspiration from art, vintage prints and embroideries." So, yeah—expect a lot of drama at the sewing machines?
8.) Um, just wait until you see designer Roberto de Villacis. You will not be disappointed.
7.) Eric Cubeechee, DJ, will list some of his celebrity clients and friends. He definitely name drops Wilmer Valderrama first. Really? His collection is going to be something else.
6.) Kathy Rose—jewelry designer (So is she the fashion expert or the industry professional?)—is posing (crazy make-love-to-the-camera ready-for-my-close-up posing) in the craziest shoes and a bracelet that looks like a scab. She's going to be a character and a half.
5.) This is too easy: one designer, Thai, pretty much looks just like Christian Siriano and his personal motto is "Live for FASHION. Set the TREND." Words to live by.
4.) The Caten boys. They're twins! Twins! Twins—at least to those of us who aren't twins—are crazy! Duh! And they dress alike! Identical adult twins in matching outfits! DSquared2 outfits! And, this is a rare chance to see DSquared2 outfits that don't include massive belt buckles with bankrupt gas station logos and/or slutty lederhosen—on twins!
3.) We, at least, would really love to know what it is that Patrick McDonald does besides apply eye make-up, commission crazy hats, and troll the Fashion Week tents like he owns the bridge. Furthermore, his Bravo bio states that he—not his writing—has appeared in a litany of publications of various quality. Yeah, so have those Jon and Kate plus whatever monsters but they don't got no by-lines.
2.) It's Wednesday. Top Chef is ending. Glee's hiatus is like forever. Modern Family is only 30 minutes long. And the wine will spoil if you don't just finish it before you pass out—er, go to bed.
1.) And, we'll be covering it so you might as well already know what we're talking about. Just sayin'.
Extra credit: Fashion critic Merle Ginsberg is from a place called Atlanta City in New Jersey. Typo or the destination of the next Racked staff retreat? We'll keep you posted!