Project Runway User's Guide: Token "Green" Episode with Judge Natalie Portman

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[Images via Bravo]

Believe it or not, that Wikipedia spoiler chart from turned out to be wrong on all counts. Worse, Tim Gunn did not compare anything to "a pterodactyl from a gay Jurassic Park," as teasers led us to believe he would. Instead, we got Natalie Portman as a judge and a whole boatload of ugly brown satin.

This week's challenge: The designers must make cocktail dresses for their models out of eco-friendly fabric. The twist: The models do the shopping. The weird part: Three of them pick the same unwearable brick-brown hue.

Designers who got the dud fabric: Wesley, Leanne, and Detroit Dad Joe.

Most poetic metaphor: Blayne calls Heidi "Darth Vader" and then "Darthlicious." "Because on the outside she's all shiny and all put together, but on the inside she's ker-azy."

Surprise of the week: Is Blayne actually kind of smart? First there was the Darth Vader bit, and then he did a truly spot-on impersonation of Stella ranting about leather and grommets. And when Stella dismissed him as a child, he called her Leatherface.

Moment we started liking Leanne: When she said, "Leanne likes Suede. But Suede needs to stop talking in the third person."

Moment we realized Wesley was hot: When the camera showed up from the waist up, thereby hiding his wee schoolboy shorts.

Moment we felt all torn up inside: When the judges decided to boot either Leanne or Hot Wesley, both felled by the brown satin.

The loser: Wesley, whose minidress was too short and too shiny. Goodbye, Hot Wesley. The world just wasn't ready for your kneecaps.

The winner: Judges liked Kenley's elegant sheath, but they preferred Suede's design, which had a bodice of red and champagne satin over a tulle skirt. Michael Kors loved that Suede reworked the fabric into interlocking strips; Natalie, sealing the deal, said she'd wear it herself.
·Tonight's Project Runway: A Sneak Peek [Racked]
·Rumormongering: Runway Spoilers Leaked?[Racked]
·A User's Guide to Project Runway[Racked]
·Project Runway [Bravo]