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User's Guide to Project Runway Season 5

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It's an odd season to be on Project Runway. After four years of steadily increasing popularity, the show announced that it will move from Bravo to Lifetime and from New York to L.A. Designers will presumably stop bragging about having worked for Vivienne Westwood and start bragging about having worked for Heidiwood; Tim Gunn will become Chief Creative Officer of Lindsay Lohan's leggings line; and eventually the whole franchise will flame out like a California wildfire. Before this sad fate can come to pass, though, Project Runway will spend one more cycle in New York. It's the end of an era, and we're here to help you get through it, providing both weekly emotional support and a handy user's guide (below).

This week's challenge: Contestants had to make a garment out of whatever they could buy at Gristedes for $75, which is exactly what they had to do in the first episode of the first season. The Washington Post review of the show suggested that the producers had given in to nostalgia, and we're feeling the same way. Who knew you could get choked up about Gristedes?

First attempted catchphrase: Teeny orange Blayne, who seems desperate to position himself as the spray-tanned Christian Siriano, responds to Tim Gunn's sage advice with a hilariously deadpan "Holler at your boy." Later, we see him repeat the phrase to himself forlornly.

Second attempted catchphrase: Blayne also keeps saying "Girlicious." He even writes it on his model's thigh, leading us to wonder if he's getting paid by the Pussycat Dolls.

Most self-aware contestant: Terri keeps referencing previous seasons and boasts that she can make a three-piece suit in eight hours, suggesting that she knows at some point she'll have to.

Second most self-aware contestant: Keithaddresses the camera wearing a hood a la Season Three's talented-but-volatile Jeffrey. We don't think this is a coincidence.

Most irritating contestant: Suede has a blue mohawk, refers to himself in the third person, and owns a denim vest with his name bedazzled onto it.

Potential sleeper hit: Quiet Wesley, 23, used to design for Marc Jacobs. The LA Times predicts people will be talking about his taste in shorts, and we'd like to start that conversation: The kid wears a lot of funny shorts.

[SPOILER WARNING]

The winner: Kelli, who describes herself as a mix between Vivienne Westwood and Betsey Johnson, took the prize with a dress made out of bleached and stained vacuum cleaner filters. The judges thought it was very pretty and seemed extra impressed with her resourcefulness.

Out: Jerry, who paired a creepy raincoat made of white shower curtains with a sheer lavender sundress which judge Michael Kors called "a handiwipe gone wrong."
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